Taking Care of Me

I’ve shared before, I think, that my wife and I have a son with issues that cause out of control behavior on a regular basis. His out of control behavior gets more and more uncontrollable as he gets older. He is now 10 years old. Yesterday, was one of those uncontrollable days. He hit me, kicked me in the knees (yes, the newly replaced one, too), dumped laundry detergent all over the place (not good for a mama with wobbly knees), broke off a post in the basement, and ran outside and tore off a section of our picket fence. The emotional and physical stress of that attack caused a fibromyalgia flare, I think. My whole body aches today. My new knee and that leg was particularly painful and swollen today. And I was exhausted beyond belief. I had physical therapy for my knee today, and we mostly did treatment…TENS, ice, massage, range of motion, gentle stretching. I think my PTSD became even more intense today…flashbacks, hypervigilance. Once the kids were in bed, and wifey had gone to bed to watch tv, i sat on the couch, in the dark, with my favorite soothing music, and my electric blanket, and my 2 cats in my lap. I reminded myself that I’m okay. I reminded the child parts of me that this was not the same as my childhood abuse. I enjoyed my solitude and my cats. (I read not too long ago that cats absorb negative energy without harming themselves). I relaxed and felt at peace for awhile. I feel taken care of and soothed. I took care of me. I need to remember how good this felt.

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One thought on “Taking Care of Me

  1. That sounds like a very rough day. It’s scary to see your son out of control. I can say that with conviction, since I have a son who is sometimes out of control. (He’s the one who read my blog.) And I’m very sorry he kicked your knee and physically hurt you.

    At the same time, I’m admiring how well you coped. The soothing situation you set up for yourself and the encouraging self-talk are indications of how skilled you have grown in self-care. Our children, and other parts of our lives, will keep throwing big challenges in our way, but if we can care for ourselves in the midst of all the turmoil, we can make it. We are, after all, warrior queens, right?

    Many hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

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