A year ago today, I had bariatric surgery.  I had a gastric bypass where my stomach was stapled off so I only have a little pouch for food and my intestines were moved so that much of them is bypassed making it harder to absorb calories from what I do eat.  I don’t eat much anymore.  I eat lots of protein…mostly vegetarian sources..  and vegetables and fruits.  I also eat one piece of whole grain bread a day, sweet potatoes, and quinoa.  I weighed 367 lbs when I started this process and I now weigh 190 lbs.  My life is totally different than it was.  I am very active, my arthritic knees feel way better, I take no medications for cholesterol or high blood pressure, and minimal medications for anxiety and depression.  I hike in the area parks almost every day.  I go to the gym on a regular basis and the treadmill in my house is one of my best friends.  My relationship with my wife is kind of weird due to my weight loss.  She is a big woman and sometimes, I think that she might feel pressured to follow in my footsteps.  It’s not me pressuring her, it’s her own mind.  I can’t turn to food for comfort anymore, so dealing with my  intense feelings can be difficult, more difficult than in the past.  That’s because I can’t stuff my feelings down anymore, I actually have to feel them and process them.  I do like the way I look in my clothes these days.  Sometimes, I catch sight of myself in a mirror or a window, and don’t recognize myself.  I am a new person physically.  Thankfully, I realized before I ever had this surgery, that getting skinny would not make me happy.  it makes me feel better about myself, and I find myself more willing to engage in good self-care…cooking food that is good for my body, exercising, meditating, going for acupuncture.  But, I still need to learn and practice self-compassion, self forgiveness, and work on being less judgmental of myself.  I still struggle with relationships due to my past traumas.  There is nothing magic about losing half of my physical body…but, I do feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.


6 thoughts on “Surgiversary

  1. What an accomplishment!!!! Congratulations and really it is very helpful to hear your story about how you cannot stuff emotions down with food, which I still currently do on occasion. Just having to face them takes amazing strength.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! What a year you’ve had. I love that you realize that losing weight won’t bring you happiness, but that your smaller body is encouraging you to take better care of yourself. And I also love that you’re doing the work to deal with all of the painful and uncomfortable feelings. Total warrior queen!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You should be proud as you have accomplished so much. You can be a great inspiration for others but in the end they will have to choose what is right for them and nobody should look at you as if hey have to compete out of envy and jealousy. Nobody has walked in your shoes and had to go through the process and hard work of getting there. Is proud of you my warrior queen.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s