Email back from MT (my therapist)

I emailed MT yesterday afternoon telling her that I did not think it fair that she ended a session with what felt like a bombshell.  She emailed me back and said she never said that this was indefinitely.  That made me feel phenomenally better.  I guess EMDR is not off the table permanently.   Big sigh of relief.  I like that MT is so careful and thoughtful about what she does with me.  But, that’s also a problem, because it makes me trust her immensely,  and trusting her so much scares the hell out of me.  OMG.  I feel like a lunatic when I write about some of this stuff.


6 thoughts on “Email back from MT (my therapist)

  1. You’re no lunatic, trust me. 🙂 During the beginning of summer/late spring last year, OT (outside therapist) brought up the idea of EMDR to me, which– I freaked myself out watching videos about, and OT reassured me at the time that we would “table it” for later. SHOW ME YOUR WAYS! I’d rather WANT to do EMDR…but I think trusting OT more is step #1, huh? BTW, I did some amaaazing coloring this week–which felt REALLY good~

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  2. Flashbacks are most certainly different than memories. She was minimizing your pain and invalidating your reality. I do not know if she is just ignorant about the neurology of flashbacks or if she was intentionally minimizing you. At least 10 percent of therapists and mental health professionals are pathological narcissists, because they like to be in that position of power of people’s heads and also it makes them seem believable when they call their partner mentally ill when they claim abuse.

    Flashbacks are memories that have not been integrated properly by the brain. During trauma, the brain and body are flooded with high levels of adrenaline and cortisol. High levels of cortisol, especially when it is on an on-going basis, interfere with the hippacampus part of the brian. This is the part that is in charge of filing memories into the correct place.

    When the cortisol interferes with the hippacampus, the memories of trauma are not filed into the past, like they should be, They are not processed as memories filed into the long term memory. So those memories are left lingering in the brain, without being put into the right box.

    So the traumatic experience, and sensory images and feelings from that trauma, are non-integrated…they are fractured parts of you . This is why when something triggers the memory….like an object, a place, a smell, a sound, etc…the brain brings back the memory of the trauma as if it is really happening to you…in the present….rather than the past.

    The adrenaline and the cortisol kick in , just like in the original trauma, and you feel like you are there in the trauma again. The brain cannot tell the difference between the event being in the past or in the present, because it was not able to file the memory into the right place in the brain, ‘

    I think therapists should have to have some basic neurology education. Then they would at least understand that flashbacks are not just memories….I am sorry she acted this way to you. It is re-traumatizing when therapists do this to their clients.

    Sending you healing and compassion.
    Annie ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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