How to hold on to peace?

On my last post, a couple of people suggested finding activities that bring me peace to help me in dealing with the situations with my oldest son, and my ptsd acting up, and the chaos that seems to be ever present in my life right now.  I do lots of different things that bring peace and courage to my life.  I journal.  I read.  I color and create collages.  I go to meditation.  I meditate.  I exercise.  I swim.  I spend time outdoors.  I receive acupuncture and massages.  I pray.  And I end up filled with peacefulness and the knowledge that I can be a great parent for my son and I am whole and I am healing.  And then, it all slips through my fingers as the chaos begins again.  My question is how to hold on to it.  By the end of the day, I end up so far away from the person that does all of those activities and really experiences peace.

 

Is it any wonder that squabbling over how to keep each other down keeps each other down while the world moves on?:

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5 thoughts on “How to hold on to peace?

  1. Oh, I know this feeling! But this is how I think of it: in meditation, we are sometimes focused, but sometimes our monkey brain wanders off on a different path, and then we have to bring our attention back to our breath. In our lives, the excessive demands of work and parenting (especially single parenting), not to mention recovery from trauma and any other stressors going on, these all work to pull us away from our peaceful center. We feel off balance. But regular practice of all the things you mentioned brings us back to that center. We will never feel peaceful and balanced all the time. But we will get very sick if we abandon our practice and don’t give ourselves the opportunity to get back to that center and feeling of wholeness. You are doing exactly the right thing by continuing to practice. It is normal and human to slide away from our center and have to readjust. Maybe monks in a monastery feel peace most of the time, but for those of us living in the world, it’s an on-going effort.

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  2. I book it in, so that no matter what I have an hour or three to myself. I like being alone so I make it so that I get at least 1 hour alone everyday and I never double book myself. It took me a long time to get in the habit (it takes 28 days to form a habit) and I make it so that there is no way that I will change this hour, it’s a priority no matter what is going on. And I let the people around me know that it is so that they won’t disturb me.
    Find away to hold onto and value that peace when you need it most.

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  3. i’m not sure. i know the harder i try to hold onto anything “good” (feeling or otherwise) it seems to slip away faster. I’ve heard that part of mindfulness is being in the moment and being ok with how it is. I kinda suck at it so I can’t say for sure if it would work or not. I hope you can find more peace.

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  4. When I first asked the same question I learned that for me, and maybe others I’m not sure, that it was crucial to see my day, my week, my life as not simply one or the other – peaceful or chaotic. That I live in 3 places, not just two, and the third place is a bridge between peace and chaos. And that bridge is where I am most of the time.

    I am peaceful when I am meditating, exercising, listening to music, colouring, gardening, and reading because those are the things I enjoy and they keep me in the moment. Chaos for me are my triggers. But the place I am the most is this bridge in between because after all I am human and a mom and I can’t just run off and do the things that bring me peace when I most need them (during the chaos) because I have little humans who need me. And laundry, cooking, homeschooling, blah, blah, blah.

    So I do the peaceful activities when I can schedule them in which is daily and they carry me to the end of the bridge that is closest to peace. But then shit happens and I end up at the other end of the bridge (because that is life) and sometimes even walk right off the end into the chaos.

    What took me a long to learn to do was to create a visual of that bridge and work on self talk so that when I am in chaos I can get myself back on the bridge. Not to the place of peace because it’s farther away than the bridge. It was hard at first but after lots of practice I can do this most of the time. If I can get to the bridge until I have the time to practice one of my peaceful activities then I’m good. This is what I tell myself. And it seems to work for me. Perhaps there is somewhere or something for you too Patty in the middle, between the chaos and the peaceful, mindful activity, that is closer and easier to achieve in those moments when chaos seems to rein?

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