On my last post, a couple of people suggested finding activities that bring me peace to help me in dealing with the situations with my oldest son, and my ptsd acting up, and the chaos that seems to be ever present in my life right now. I do lots of different things that bring peace and courage to my life. I journal. I read. I color and create collages. I go to meditation. I meditate. I exercise. I swim. I spend time outdoors. I receive acupuncture and massages. I pray. And I end up filled with peacefulness and the knowledge that I can be a great parent for my son and I am whole and I am healing. And then, it all slips through my fingers as the chaos begins again. My question is how to hold on to it. By the end of the day, I end up so far away from the person that does all of those activities and really experiences peace.