The theme of meditation tonight was letting go. I thought it was a perfect theme for me. I’m working on letting go of the extra weight I gained to try to protect myself from people who wanted to use and abuse my body. I’m working on letting go of my childhood, and the awful memories, because they don’t serve me on my life now.
So, we did this shamanic journey where we were walking in a beautiful field, and then all of a sudden you notice that you are feeling very heavy. You take off this coat and leave it on the ground. What does it look like? What does it represent?
My coat was what I could only describe as a trapper’s cloak. It was made of several different kinds of fur, and actually had some entire dead animals on it. There was more to this journey, but I got stuck on the feeling of shrugging this cloak off, and realized it was my childhood that the cloak represented. I shrugged this cloak off many times, and felt it fall to the ground, and felt the lightness og my body and mind without the weight of that childhood. I think it had to be a fur cloak with dead animals on it because it had once been living, like my childhoid, and it was pretty disturbing to look at, like my childhood.
I went to therapy on Tuesday, and shared this meditation with MT (my therapist). She asked me to find a picture of that cloak. I looked and looked for a picture, but no trapper’s wore anythong, like what had been in my mind. Then I found a picture of a woman wearing the cloak I had seen in my journey. And it was labelled Allerleirauh (many furs), a Grimm fairy tale, which is about a girl who uses a coat of many furs to escape her father who has incestuous intentions. Imagine my surprise! This let me know that I have Spirit Guides working hard with me to help me be a warrior and get to where I need to be.