These three little girls are awesome and ferocious warriors. They are winning the war. I am so impressed by them and their adoptive parents. I want nothing but the best for this family.
Reading this post on how these three little girls were rescued and helped to heal triggered a huge reaction in me. Little girl voices inside of me started raging. How come nobody rescued us? Why would nobody rescue us? Why were we left to grow up totally in the horrible mess of the family we were born into? How come we didn’t get to be loved? What was wrong with us? How could nobody see? And little voices sobbed. And little voices that I could barely hear because they are so afraid anyway got silent. Because, what was wrong with me? I guess I must not have been worth rescuing. I must not have been good enough.
Ugh. I guess I have some work to do. I know those little voices have it wrong. I am their rescuer. I am the one who came. I am the one who will always be with them. I need to keep working on comforting, soothing, loving them. I need to show them that I am grown up and have a good and loving family now.
My girls were removed from their biological family due to longstanding neglect and significant physical and sexual abuse. They are now 7, 8, and 10 years old and each of them has an Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) score of 10 (out of 10). (Got Your ACE Score?) This is the only test they have all aced. Many labeled them “damaged beyond repair”.
Over the last two years, my family has spent countless hours in individual and family therapy making sense of our own stories, learning how to cope with them, and building the strength required to share our stories outside of our family. And in understanding, embracing, and sharing their stories, our girls are proving that it is possible to overcome the negative effects of a traumatic childhood. Strengthening protective factors and increasing resilience can be just as powerful as the cumulative adverse experiences.
For decades, research has supported
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