Firmly wrapped around my throat…

That is how Anxiety is for me right now. I’ve been trying to take back my days. I’ve been trying to be the warrior that MT tells me I am. But, at the moment, I am losing this battle and I have retreated to my couch. I have to get up again in a couple of hours and be a mom for my kids, but once they are in bed, I will again be retreated from this battle. Maybe this anxiety is trying to tell me something. Maybe it’s trying to tell me it’s time to slow down and pay some attention to me and this little girl that resides in me. Maybe it’s time to wrap myself up in a blanket and cuddle in a way that did not happen when I was a little girl. Maybe it’s time to retreat knowing that MT has got my back in a way that JoAnn never did. Maybe it’s time to trust that this battle can be fought not only in MT’s office but also in my real life. Maybe I’m strong enough to face some of these feelings without MT right by my side. Maybe it’s time to learn that it’s really okay to take a break and let these feelings be there. The feelings are not going to kill me…even though it feels like they might. Maybe it’s time to let my friends see me…the me that is not as strong as the me I usually am. I’ve cancelled a huge event at our house and it seems that my friends still love me anyway. Maybe it’s time to build up my strength for the upcoming holidays. The season I want to run from but need to embrace for the sake of my kids.

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