Mother’s Day (A New Way)

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Before Mother’s Day, when I was complaining and crying to MT(my therapist) about Mother’s Day and how much I hate it (even though I am a mother myself). I told MT I wanted a mother for whom I would want to buy flowers and a gushy card about what a wonderful childhood I had.  MT suggested that I complete that gesture by thinking about somebody that I feel embodies those qualities I wish my mother had had and buy that person flowers.  I told her I would think about it, but in my head, I scoffed at the idea.  What was that going to do for me?  Remind me that here was another good mother that I could not have.  I put the idea in the back of my head and hoped to forget about it.  Well, the idea really vexed me for the next few days because I wanted to forget about it, but it would not let me forget about it.  Finally, Saturday evening came around, and Mother’s Day was just hours away.  My wife and I were sitting at the dining room table and I told her what MT wanted me to do.  We started throwing out names of who that person could be….a newish friend, the priest at our church, MT herself…the list and suggestions went on and on.  Eventually, I started looking at Facebook and the first post was from a woman we had met a couple of years ago on a cruise.  She and her disabled daughter and the daughter’s aide were seated at our table in the dining room.  We became fast friends.  The mother mothered my wife, me, her daughter, and her daughter’s aide.  We all looked forward to dinner every night to discuss our days and often met for lunch also.  Well, it turned out that I had this woman’s phone number, but not her address.  So I called her, and she seemed both surprised and pleased to hear from me.  I told her I needed her address so that I could send something to her daughter and she happily supplied me with the correct information.  My wife and I immediately ordered an arrangement of fruit carved like flowers and sent it out, addressed to both mother and daughter.  Well, the mother was thrilled and in tears and posted about the whole thing on Facebook, which got hundreds of likes from her friends and mine.  I ended up feeling great about the moment that we obviously had created for mother and daughter and thrilled about the connection that had been strengthened.  My Mother’s Day was made.  My gift had been received enthusiastically and lovingly and that gave so much more back to me.  That was a healing moment on my path to healing!

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